As published in The Florida Villager.
Moving Out, Moving In
Divorce is synonymous with change. Actually, numerous changes, tons of changes that all seem overwhelming. It’s not just the changes that keep your mind whirling; it’s everything that comes along with the changes. Attorney appointments, finances to review and adjust, emails and phone calls to return and last but certainly not the least of your early morning panic attacks is ‘The Move.”
Whether the move out of the marital home happens during the divorce, right after or years down the road, it will happen and it is beyond stressful. There is the emotional move and the physical move. For this article, I am going to address the physical move and circle back to the emotional move in the next article.
With each move that I have made since my divorce, I have learned many tips I wish I had known when I moved out of the marital home. Each of you have your own way of doing things but hopefully these will help you have an easier, less stressful transition.
- Give yourself enough time to vet movers. Look at reviews, ask people for recommendations, ask the company questions other than price, for example, will the truck have a seal on the door so you know no one has been in it, at any time in transit will the contents be put into a warehouse (you do not want this), review their insurance policy very carefully, when packing boxes take pictures of what is in each box, number and label them (do not trust the company’s inventory sheet that they do day of move). As time consuming as the last one is, it is to your benefit if anything doesn’t arrive at your destination.
- Take pictures of your furniture and measurements. This is extremely helpful if things will be in storage for a while. When looking for a house and you are trying to remember what you have and the size to see if items will fit, you will be glad you did.
- If you have children, set up their room first.
- If your children are older, involve them in house hunting. Not only will they feel more a part of their new home, but they will learn about the process and what is involved.
- The day the movers show up, sit outside with your inventory list and examine everything that comes off the truck before it goes inside. If anything is damaged, take a picture of it and note it on your sheet. If something is missing, list it on the company’s sheet and have the driver initial it.
- Once everything is inside, take a minute to decide what is most important to you, what do you need to feel settled. For some it might be to get your pictures out or to get your clothes hung up. For me, it was to feel organized, and I started with the laundry room so I could feel like I was making a dent. From there I did my bathroom, then the kitchen and finally my office.
- Come up with a plan and stick to it. Yes, you can make adjustments but if you start making too many, you will find yourself back to spinning your wheels.
Remember, when you are moving out, moving in it’s like the old saying: “You eat an elephant one bite at a time.”
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