There Has to Be Something Better Than This?

There Has to Be Something Better Than This?

You can’t seem to pick up a magazine, scroll through Instagram or listen to a podcast without hearing the word narcissist. I tend to think it has become a catch all word and overused, especially when describing ex-spouses. I mean, let’s be honest, we all can exhibit a narcissistic trait at some point but if you are feeling that your ex has more than his share, look these bullet points over.

Does the person make you feel less than you are?
Do you tend to act differently around him than when you are with others?
Are you anxious/walking on eggshells?
Do you feel constantly controlled?
Do they lie easily?
Are they impossible to please? You can never “get it right”?
Are they self-centered? They see themselves as more important, special or powerful than others.
Have they physically harmed you?
Your emotions are on a rollercoaster?- Are holidays and family gatherings stressful?
Do they try to sabotage your good feelings or mood?
Do you feel powerless at times?
Do they have mood swings and demands that don’t make sense?
They don’t take responsibility for their actions? It is never their fault. They are above the law. They are the victim.
They don’t have a conscious. They seem to have a coldness, denial, blameless about them. They have an indifference about them. Appear emotionally shallow.
When they feel shame, they react with hurt, rage and blame of others.
Projection. They transfer to someone else whatever creates shameful feelings in them.
Competition is a way they reaffirm their sense of superiority. They will compete in arenas where they are likely to succeed.
They feel entitled.
They are master manipulators.
They do not have the ability to empathize or show compassion for another’s needs.
They view relationships from the point that others are there to meet their needs and once the narcissist has no further need for that person, they are disposed of.

The second part and most importantly, is how does he/she affect you and your quality of life?

Keep you stuck/ prevent your own personal growth
You are robbed of joy and excitement
Self-esteem is greatly affected
You blame yourself for their behavior
The relationship can alter your personality
You begin to doubt yourself and your abilities
They are life sucking/ drain you of energy
Feel like you have lost control of your life, who you are/you don’t feel strong. You feel off balance.
You will never feel love or appreciation for who you are from these men

If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, understand that you will never have a healthy relationship and you are now faced with the age old question, “Do I stay or do I go?”