As published in The Florida Villager.
What is a Divorce Coach and How Do They Help You?
Divorce is a time of challenge and uncertainty but working with a divorce coach can help ease the emotional pain, fear and the sense of being overwhelmed. It is the bridge into a new life of endless possibilities.
So, what is the difference between an attorney, therapist and divorce coach? An attorney is the captain of your ship. He/she is there to give you the best legal advice, guide you through the legal complexities of the divorce process and draft the best possible settlement agreement for you.
Many of my clients come to me upset because their expectations of the client-attorney relationship are not reality. They are expecting their attorney to be their best friend, to console them, answer their calls on a Friday night because their ex has not picked up the kids as planned and what do I do? They expect warm and fuzzies from their legal counsel. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but that is not going to happen because that is not their job. They are not hand holders, and you know what, you don’t want them to be. You want them completely focused on your case, not you.
That being said, a divorce no matter how amicable it is, it is still an event in your life that will rock the very foundation you stand on, therefore, you need support, a cheerleader and a Jiminy cricket. Someone who will listen, celebrate your good moments and be your voice of reason when anger is bubbling up.
And what about a therapist? How is he/she different than a divorce coach? A therapist will diagnose, look into your past with depth, and schedule you for an hour each week. Typically, they don’t have the divorce process knowledge and background that a divorce coach has. They are more clinically oriented whereas a coach puts emphasis on what is needed for you to move forward. A divorce coach takes a holistic, team approach with you.
What can you expect from your coach during your divorce?
- Helps to create a roadmap through divorce and after
- Someone who understands the divorce process
- Co-parent planning and communication skills
- Solution based guidance
- Conflict management
- Aid in reducing stress and managing emotions
- Organizational assistance
- Identify and prioritize your concerns
- Assist you when needed with your attorney
- Keep you motivated and your eye on the big picture
What can you expect from your coach after your divorce?
- Post divorce checklist
- Defined action plan
- Employment options
- Self-rediscovery/finding your purpose
- Single parent guidance
- Post divorce emotional support
- Empowerment
- Different approaches to problem solving
- Help dealing with a difficult ex
- Challenges of being single again
Divorce coaching is an investment in yourself. It is about empowering you to unlock any old thinking patterns that will hold you back and equip you with new tools to propel you forward into the life you envision for yourself post-divorce.