As published in Sunset Drive Magazine
One day after my own divorce, I was walking the beach when my thoughts wandered to the question, “How did my life get so off track?” It was at that moment I realized my life wasn’t off track at all; I was exactly where I needed to be at this time in my life.
We are given opportunities in life to grow and discover our inner strength; divorce is one of those opportunities. Unfortunately, most people don’t take advantage of this time. It’s a time of change and can be scary, but change is a part of life. There can be changes we are excited about and changes we fear, but the fact remains the fear that is associated with change is time limited. In some cases, such as divorce, change is thrust upon us even if it is not our decision. However, we have the ultimate decision and that is, “How are we going to choose to deal with this change?” How you choose to approach this time in your life and how you react to what is happening to you will determine the type of person you become.
During this transition time it is normal to feel impatient. We are anxious to feel “normal” again and have our “old life” back. When we demand that everything be and feel like we want it right now, we are denying ourselves the time to learn a life lesson from the situation at hand. Surrendering ourselves to the process and giving up the resistance and fear will make the next step easier and clearer.
In life we have choices and acceptance. We need to accept our own choices and live with them and accept the choices of others and live with them. You are on your way and you will arrive at the designated time and more fulfilled than you ever imagined. The trick is to accept where you are in your journey and choose to enjoy where you are until you get to where you want to be. Stop resisting and accept, not becoming complacent but having a sense of peace that this too shall pass.
While in this transition phase of your life be aware of self-doubt. Do not allow fear of the new or unknown prevent you from moving forward. This is no time to be looking backward. There is nothing there for you; all that you are lies ahead. What you expect, you will receive. Become the master of your mind and not the victim of your thoughts.
Here are some tips on accepting where you are:
- Develop an attitude of faith
- Be grateful for what you have
- Keep things in perspective; just because this specific time in your life is hard, doesn’t mean you have a hard life
- Empower yourself with daily affirmations
- Don’t stand still, keep moving
- Be patient with yourself
- Work on letting go of past hurts so that you can embrace life more joyfully
- Take one day at a time. Don’t get overwhelmed by the big picture. Look at today only, get thru today and deal with tomorrow, tomorrow
- Seek support from a divorce group, therapist or life coach
Remember, this time will redefine you, how it redefines you is up to you.