As published on The Huffington Post
When going through a divorce and dealing with the aftermath, it seems we are just on autopilot, doing what needs to be done, mindlessly walking through the days and weeks. Our daily goal is just to get from sunrise to sunset with as little frustration as possible. At the time, it appears our frustration stems from things not working out as we wanted them to but in actuality, the frustration is due to the fact we are not asking the right questions before we make a decision or take an action.
In Debbie Ford’s book, The Right Questions, she discusses the importance of asking yourself ten questions before you say or do something. By being mindful and reflecting on these questions and consequently the answers, you will be making decisions for the right reasons which will only push you in the right direction and with less frustration. In order for things to work in your favor, you must first ask the right questions.
I’m not suggesting that by asking the right questions, the decision will be easy or without fraught but at least you will not be second guessing your choices. You will enter onto your path with conviction and know that you are making this decision for all the right reasons. Moving forward, I encourage you to keep Debbie Ford’s ten questions in the forefront of your mind. They are:
1. Will this choice propel me toward an inspiring future or will it keep me stuck in the past?
2. Will this choice bring me long-term fulfillment or will it bring me short-term gratification?
3. Am I standing in my power or am I trying to please another?
4. Am I looking for what’s right or am I looking for what’s wrong?
5. Will this choice add to my life force or will it rob me of my energy?
6. Will I use this situation as a catalyst to grow and evolve or will I use it to beat myself up?
7. Does this choice empower me or does it disempower me?
8. Is this an act of self-love or is it an act of self-sabotage?
9. Is this an act of faith or is it an act of fear?
10. Am I choosing from my divinity or am I choosing from my humanity?
Choosing to think this way is a very mindful approach to making decisions instead of being reactionary which doesn’t always lead to the best outcome. If we take the time to ask ourselves these questions, it keeps our decisions in line with what we want instead of fighting against it. It raises our consciousness level to truly realize that our choices today affect our tomorrows.
The Right Questions by Debbie Ford is a book worth having in your personal library to read and reread until it becomes your way of life.