As published in The Florida Villager
The holidays are over and the gift giving has ceased. If your list is like mine, the person’s name appears and next to it several options for presents. Let me ask you, “What gifts are you going to give yourself?” I hope by your name are listed the givens: faith, patience, hope, forgiveness, acceptance and self-love but what about the gift of being ‘All In’?
Remember a time when you were ‘All In’? Do you remember how excited you felt and the subsequent exhilaration that came from having a purpose or goal? Well, this year make ‘All In’ your mantra. My invitation to you is to commit to be “All In’ with life. Not just one aspect of your life but all of it. When we are walking down the path of divorce, it is a challenge to be all in because you feel like all has been taken from you. Well, your marriage might be over, but your life isn’t.
Often times in a divorce, you can’t let go of the past and so how can you be ‘All In’ if you are still straddling that fence that separates your past life with your present life? Notice I didn’t say future life because I don’t want you living in the past or the future; I want you right where you are which is in the present. When you are in the present moment and committed to being ‘All In’, then and only then will you be able to enjoy your life. There are no do-overs and time does not stop for anyone so don’t trap yourself in the past or live with the fears or fantasies of the future.
Here is what ‘All In’ looks like.
Job: Evaluate what you are doing for work. Does it bring you joy? Are you giving it your full attention? Do you find that you are complaining and blaming others for your discontent? Find ways to breath new life into your career.
Finances: Create a full and honest budget and commit to stick to it. Look at ways you can save money and set up goals.
Friends and Family: Let go of relationships that are toxic and foster those that uplift you. Make amends through forgiveness and acceptance. Cherish those that are in your life and wish those well that need to move on.
Gratitude: Every morning list what you are grateful for and show how grateful you are by giving to others. Learn the gift of paying it forward. I know this is a tough one but please do not skip over this step. The importance of gratitude cannot be stressed enough.
Learn the Lessons: Don’t try to avoid problems or bumps in the road. It is only through those times that you learn necessary lessons and grow. And through it all…laugh. Keep your sense of humor.
Dream Big: My mantra is “Lose a dream, get a bigger one.” Don’t put your dreams on hold for any reason. Start today.
And speaking of today, I once read that to get the most out of life, you should live each day as if it was your last. How would you live your last day? I know how I would, I wouldn’t worry about anything, I would spend it with the ones I love, get right with God and have peace in my heart and mind. I would be kind to others and get my affairs in order. If I could do that for one day, than I could do that everyday and what a way to live. Don’t waste one more minute of 2016, get ‘All In.’