As published on The Huffington Post
You lost yourself in your marriage and now you’re faced with losing yourself after divorce. While you were married, you turned yourself into what your spouse wanted, what your children needed and how society says a married person is supposed to be. Now the ink has dried on your divorce decree, and you are still trying to be someone other than yourself. You’re listening to your friends and family telling you how you should behave as a single parent, you are letting your children dictate your life by guilt, and you want to please the person you’re dating even though it might not be in your best interests.
Stop this post divorce madness. What reflection do you want to see when you look in the mirror? Do you see a person who:
– Has a passion and is being true to him/herself?
– Loves yourself, all of you, which means the good, the bad, and the ugly?
– Has embraced where they are in the present moment?
– Chooses to think positively instead of negatively?
– Has looked inward and reassessed the future from a different perspective?
– Has taken responsibility for his/her actions?
– Takes the high road?
– Has set boundaries with people in their lives?
– Is living a healthy life, physically, emotionally and spiritually?
– Is taking the time to heal?
– Is choosing to move forward?
OR, do you see a person who is bitter, resentful, neglects the children, and looks for happiness through drinking, spending, drugs, or sex? A person who enjoys the martyr role or continues to ruminate over the wrongs his/her committed? Refuses to let go of old dreams, let’s others, including the children, run their life? Is constantly trying to “get back” at the ex even to the detriment of their children?
Which person do you see? Take a long look in the mirror and be happy with who you see looking back at you. You are not the first to be wronged or to have gone through a terrible break u, so as Dolly Parton said, “Get down off the cross, we need the wood.”