As published on Huffington Post
There is a plethora of advice that family and friends are more than willing to give once the judge signs your divorce decree, and the across-the-board mantra seems to be, “Move on.” That being said, there is so much more to starting your life over than those two words; it is more importantly about “moving up.”
Moving on does not equate with quality of life. It simply means you are moving past the place you are currently in. People can move on but not always in a constructive way. Just getting on with your life is not enough if you want to really live your life and be happy in it. You have to move up to a higher level of understanding of yourself and those around you, move up to a life of purpose and passion and move up to a post-divorce, better version of yourself.
Here are some key ways to not only move on but to move up:
- Turn any disappointment or heartbreak into something positive by changing your perspective
- Hang out with trusted friends
- Have your own man/woman cave
- Gain emotional stability
- Surround yourself with uplifting, positive friends
- Spend time reconnecting with people
- Seek inner strength
- Take care of yourself
- Force yourself to get up in the morning and dress to kill
- Do not shop; and watch how you relate to food and alcohol
- Respect yourself
- Look closer at your self talk- your thoughts are what you will bring to yourself
- Stop trying to lay blame
- Don’t keep ruminating about him/her
- Restructure your calendar gaps
- Get rid of things that remind you of him/her
- Think of the negatives as well as the positive moments
- Remember why you left him/her
- No contact
- Stop checking means of communication
- When making choices, ask yourself, “Does this action go towards or away from what I want in my life?”
- Every day show kindness and gratitude and forgiveness
- Make a Vision Board
- Do mirror talk-look yourself in the mirror, eye to eye, and tell yourself how special, beautiful and talented you are
- Keep a journal
- Read
- And every day make the choice to make today better